IT'S ABOUT TIME YOU
SHOWED UP
I'm trying to help make growing your business easier, faster, more predictable,
more fun, and a lot less stressful
G’Day!
It looks like you’re searching for what I’m about.
Or stalking me. Or maybe a bit of both.
I have no idea how you found me…
Maybe it was the pixel fairies.
Or one of my outrageous posts.
Or perhaps it was a referral.
It doesn’t matter, because whoever it was should be given a box of those warm, soft in the middle cookies.
Or a foot rub.
Anywho…
Your arrival is long overdue.
And now that you’re here…
Let’s not waste your time.
You’re here right now reading these words because you’re looking for a copywriter who understands human psychology, plus the benefit of selling…
Not hear about my life story.
Am I right?
So here’s the 30-second ad version…
I started my freelance marketing and copywriting journey back in 2015 while I was working full-time at a job I hated.
I’ve been a student of Tony Robbins’ RMT program, a mentee of Dan Lok, and got certified as a copywriter from the fabulous AWAI program.
I’ve worked with dozens of well known and well established brands helping them create scroll-stopping videos for organic and paid ad content.
But that’s enough about me…
I wanna know about YOU.
And…
Kind Words From Past Clients
SORRY, I LIED
This really isn’t a traditional “about us” page.
Because spending my time filling up this page with self-serving jargon and bragging would be stupidly selfish.
So instead, I want to make this page about YOU…
I get it, growing a business is hard.
Much harder than trying to ski down a mountain while being chased by killer bees and choking on fire ants at 100mph, naked.
And that’s especially true when you’re trying to find a decent copywriter who doesn’t regurgitate AI slop and then tries to pass it off to you on a silver platter for $1,000.
Or trying to learn how to use AI in between the other ten-thousand other things you have to do just so you can save yourself the trouble, and money.
Which means many business owners try and figure out how to write words that sell – for the very first time.
I call that “guesswork.”
Also known as hell.
It’s hot and muggy there.
And smells like government cheese and feet.
And I’d rather rub ghost pepper chilies in my eyes than run my business that way.
But like I said, this isn’t about me. It’s about you.
You’re reading this right now because in some way, shape, or form, you’ve been searching for a copywriter or ghostwriter who is worth their two cents.
One that doesn’t just ask a few basic questions, spits it into ChatGPT, and hands over AI slop.
Or maybe you’re already doing well and you want more.
More time off.
More time with your family.
More time at places with a lot of water and sand between your toes.
More memories.
More first class flights.
Whatever it is for you…
Let me ask you…
The Cost of Ads is Skyrocketing
But there’s a better way.
A way for you to hand off details to a competent copywriter and ghostwriter so you can lower your CPC, increase your conversions, decrease your ad spend, and grow your sales…
And finally end the nightmare of searching for freelance writers on Fiverr.
Well, that’s exactly why I’ve been doing what I do since 2015.
I’ve been a freelance marketer, copywriter, and UGC creator working in over 5 dozen industries and niches, generating my clients tens of thousands of views and sales.
I’m not here to solve your problem.
I’m here to murder it with a 50 cal sniper rifle.
You see, everything I do when working for clients is created by design for a ruthless service focused on nothing but results.
I’m not interested in a “kumbaya” ritual around a campfire.
I’m not interested in sitting cross-legged at a table drinking a skinny mocha-latte-frappu-whatchamacallit.
I want you to succeed.
So you can take care of your family.
Your employees.
And help others through your products or services.
Because it’s a system of not just helping others but producing a positive network effect.
And this is just one small way that I feel I can make a difference in a world that seems like it’s lost its damn mind.
That means every tactic and strategy I deploy works.
Because I don’t just half-ass your results.
Every client is given a platinum platter, white glove service.
It’s how I deliver results for the dozens and dozens of well known and well established brands I’ve worked for.
And if that isn’t enough to ‘move’ you…
Know this…
If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep get what you’re getting.
Period. End of story. Nada else.
So…
Don't Spend Your Weekends Worrying About Work Anymore
Because life is too short
Look, you may be young just staring your business journey (or maybe you’re older with years of experience under your belt) and the flying fairie told me…
You spent countless hours searching for ways to grow your business, increase sales, and slaughter the skyrocketing ad costs that are eating away at your profits.
You may have even tried ChatGPT or Claude to write your ad, sales, page, or your email marketing campaigns.
But you know that it just doesn’t sound like you.
It sounds like…a machine.
Because it IS a machine.
And with everyone using the same prompt, “You’re a world-class copywriter with 10 years in the industry writing high-converting ads and sales pages…”
Blah Blah Blah Blah…
So if everyone is using the same prompt, and AI “learns” by scanning the internet, that means…
Everyone’s ads sound the same…
Lame.
And to make it worse, most digital marketing agencies are focused on the latest chatbots, widgets, and pixels for this and pixels for that.
Or how many more sales you’ll get if you just buy their AI system.
But then you hear about…
“This other marketing guy who promises to 10X my returns!…”
And on, and on, and on…
*slaps forehead*
Here's the cold hard truth...
You could have the best software on the planet…
The best AI prompter…
And the most amazing marketing team available…
But if you can’t get people to take action with words then none of that matters.
None of it.
You see, the problem is most copywriters try to polish a shit turd 💩
They think that if they can just take a shitty message, give it a good ol’ massage and polish it up pretty, it’ll force people to buy.
No, no, no…
That’s not how it works.
Because in today’s day and age, attention is the new currency.
And if what you have to say isn’t intriguing enough or strikes curiosity…
You’ve lost them.
You’ve lost them to the latest scandal, the latest AI, the latest political BS, the latest half-naked supermodel…
By now I’m guessing you’re pulling your hair out.
With a head so full of mush that you’re ready to throw your laptop out the window.
So my question for you is this…
Here’s A Brief Outline Of What We’ll Cover In Your FREE 30-Minute Consultation…
($500 Value)
This is not your typical cleverly disguised *coughsalespitchcough*
- WARNING: Are You Running The Same Ads As Your Competitors?
If your ads look and sound like your competitors, or worse – like an ad, then you’re not standing out in a sea of noise! I’ll show you why this is a HUGE mistake and how it leaves you open to higher ROI, higher CAC, and a loss in sales - The Proven Content Strategies I’ve Used To Get Brands Like Purina Top Results
I’ll reveal the bulletproof strategies I’ve used to get attention, tell a compelling story, and move people to purchase products - The Devastating Mistakes Made By Virtually All Pet Industry Businesses
Nearly every person looking to get the attention of pet owners makes these common yet fatal mistakes – find out what they are so you can avoid them! - 3 Simple Tips To Lower Ad Spend, Increase Repeat Buyers, And Sell More Without Another Dime On Ads
These strategies can help you make more money faster than you ever thought possible - The Old Myths & Downright Lies Told By The Marketing Industry
Many people still believe these old wives’ tales and dirty lies told by the marketing industry – find out what they are so you can protect yourself
IN ALL HONESTY…
I’m just trying to help make growing your business easier, more fun, and less stressful.
And I do that by reverting back to the basics.
The tactics and strategies that worked hundreds of years ago that still work today, but somehow have gotten lost in all the chaotic noise of today.
Marketing agencies try to fool you into thinking these new tools and gadgets will be the lifesaver of your business.
If that were the case, wouldn’t all businesses survive?
The ones who adopt timeless principles of marketing, aka understanding human psychology and what gets people to move, will survive.
The rest will get eaten.
Because it doesn’t matter what tool, AI, or social media platform you’re on…
The same basic principles can be applied to any of them.
And the great thing is, it will work no matter what.
So, I’m gonna attempt to impress you one last time…
My Rock-Solid 100% Money-Back Guarantee
When we work together, you can invest with confidence because you’ll always be covered by my money back guarantee. In the extremely unlikely event I can’t help you get 20% more conversions, I’ll write and rewrite the content until I do – no questions asked.